White Spaces

When I was in kindergarten my teacher would correct me for leaving white spaces on my coloring sheets. Now in fairness, I don't remember if I left big gaps or if it was more like tiny white dots where the wax gets sticky and leaves little white dots. I do remember her words though and her attitude about a lot of things I did or didn't do. I feel you kindergarten teacher I do. With Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching all I can think of is how I want everything to just be perfect. I've been planning and shopping for months now. People say pinterest perfect, but that's not even good enough, I want Southern Living classic perfection.

Perfectly decorated house and yard, food cooked to savory goodness, gifts wrapped unrushed and dainty, elf enjoyed and creatively placed, and girls healthy and well behaved wearing whatever matching or coordinated outfits I plan out. Then I think of the white spaces, the things that just happen that I could let steal my joy. Life. Imperfections that hold the possibility of destruction if I let them set the tone of our Thanksgiving and Christmas. Material things, like bows not being perfect, comparison of who has lights on their roof, or sick kids. Let me tell you, that last one will destroy your plans fast. No trick or treat this year was so hard!

This holiday season, I'm digging my heels in hard and promising myself that I won't get caught up in the things that don't matter. That I will treasure the time I have with my girls, my husband, and our families. When your the momma you set the tone and environment, and it's especially true during the holidays. No pressure! I do this aggravated screechy growl thing when I get especially annoyed and Isla has started to mimic it. I want to set the correct tone, and show my girls why we are celebrating. I don't want to rush the season. I want to savor it and slow down to enjoy this time with my family doing what matters. 

Why are we blessed? Are we grateful in the hard times? Are we celebrating and honoring our Savior? It's so easy to get caught up and lose sight of what is precious. The thankfulness we can focus on even when things aren't going our way. When things don't look perfect, or we feel stretched thin with the rush and travel and we find rest through Jesus. The comfort of His nearness when we miss those who are far or no longer with us. The thankfulness that's there because I'm the daughter of a King. The joy and peace that comes with the celebration of Christ.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13.

Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom their is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:7

His love is real, and bright and I want our home to shine with it.

Joie de vivre

Joy.  Why are y'all so afraid to show it? I could try to stand here and write why don't I show it but I'm not going to lie to you or smudge the lines. We'll save that for a good Smokey eye one evening. Is there some kind of mommy club now where y'all feed off of each other's jealousy, snarky comments about other mommas, and stale graham crackers? Does someone win a bag of old slimy potatoes for having the worst life?  Is your life really that bad? I would tell you I'm sorry your life is so terrible but I'm not sorry. I told y'all I'd be real.

I'm not talking about venting, or heartfelt used up exhaustion here, and I'm not going to tell you to stop complaining. That's not who I am. I'm a firm believer in being able to pour your heart out to someone before you get crazy eyes. Complaining happens. My moral code says you don't betray a momma who is venting out of frustration. Or judge your friends based on their complaints. She needs you. Feelings really and truly matter. Struggles with children matter. Telling a momma who needs you to listen to her to hush up makes me want to say hold my earrings and send my seconds out after you.

Yet there's a time when its not these genuine struggles or matters and it gets old. There's a time when it stops being venting and complaining and it becomes a concern. It stops being complaining and becomes a complete lack of joy. Maybe it's just me but if it gets to the point where someone is constantly complaining about their children or their life I want to tell them to do something about it like a lifestyle change. Go get a job, and see what that's like.  Maybe then life won't be so dang bad, right? It's not of my business though.

I get it. Babies are work. A house is work. Laundry is work. Everything is hard. Y'all it's hard for everyone. Life is work. Everyone is busy and tired. Self sacrifice y'all. Suck it up and deal with it. FIND THE JOY.

Joie de vivre, joy of living. It matters. Take pictures of the little things that make you happy. Stop being afraid that someone is going to think you're bragging about those flowers or that sweet thing your husband did. Take that step with me. Be happy for others.

Close your eyes when you take that first sip of sweet tea. Rejoice in the blessings of having children and enjoy them. Don't let others bitterness bring you down. Maybe it's where I'm from.... That I was taught to consider taking joy in so many little things like gumbo, flowers, rain boots, and pearls that they become huge things that magnify the joy in my life.

Blessed are those that are flexible because they do not get bent out of shape. Deal with it. Wipe the poop, put that poopy diaper in the garbage, wash your hands and put on some lipstick. What we have is good enough and there is more joy and blessing in that 15 year old comforter than that fancy new one I bought on sale 2 months ago.

Roll your eyes at the garbage and just breathe.

When some of us say we're blessed, we really really are blessed.