My Fruits

I've been thinking about my fruits the past month. What do people see in my life and in me? What does my family see? Lord, where is there room for learning and improvements? Recently I've decided to make some changes in my thinking. I want to be a positive person. I dont want to dwell on what's wrong, but what I'm grateful for instead.

I'm married to an optimist who challenges me and calls me out when I'm negative. Lately, it's been a lot. My husband, my rock, who helps me even if it's tough. I don't want to be that girl any more. There's a lot that I've prayed about this past week. Lord, teach me how to be more positive! Lord, what's my heart reason for this desire? Father, am I honoring you in my actions, my words, and my priorities?

I can tell y'all, those who are still reading, there have been a LOT of days where my heart and head hasn't been in the right place. Especially when it comes to having a grateful heart over location. It's ok to be homesick. It's not ok to dwell. We are here for a reason. This city has beauty. My house is my home. My attitude is my choice.

Am I focusing on the tasks that need to be priority in my home? No, I haven't lately. I've only done ok, enough to get by, and I've ended up overwhelmed by the amount of clutter. I'm not a sparkling clean kind of girl but I love a tidy good smelling house! I take pride in my home, and that's ok. It's who I am, and I can manage my time better and not become a stress monster when I stumble. It's ok that there's change, even if it means I need putty and paint.

Am I a good friend? Have a stepped out of my comfort zone? I love to be a hostess, but fear has kept me back in the last year. That fear is not Godly. I've had extreme conviction in my heart about opening up my home more often and I've ignored it many times. That's just lame. I'm going to worry less about rejection. I'm going to take advantage of opportunity!

Have I been the best momma I can be? Have I had patience? Have I been a good role model? I can honestly say I haven't been the kind of momma I want to be lately. I do not want to teach my girls stress and negativity. I want them to learn how to handle sticky situations with abundant grace. I'm about to get 50s housewife on y'all but I want them to know how to take care of a house, family, and themselves.

Do I speak life and show the love of Jesus to others? Am I staying accountable to the higher standards I believe that are right for me? So grateful for sufficient grace. Cause I know I can work on myself. There is room for improvement, with a teachable heart!

So me bravely, I'm starting a journey to really work on my heart.